So I sent Taskmaster to infiltrate S.H.I.E.L.D. and steal Agent Coulson’s laptop. After reading all 5000 of his unpublished poems, (some of them were actually quite good, a bit Dylan Thomas meets J. Jonah Jameson) I took a gander at his iTunes.
1.Mama Mia by ABBA — It reminds him of his relationship with Nick Fury
2. Honky Cat by Elton John — like drinking whiskey from a bottle of wine or like getting Thor to clean up his hair clumps in the shower.
3. Sunshine of Your Love by Cream — Agent Coulson listens to this when he plays with his Captain America action figures.
4. What Do You Do for Money Honey by AC/DC — like all true fans, Agent Coulson pronounces the lightning bolt.
5. Just What I Needed by The Cars — All that poor Phil needs is a bottle of wine, some white roses, and an evening with Amora the Enchantress.
6. Memories by Eisley — from his road-tripping days with Jon Rosen.
7. Evil Woman by Electric Light Orchestra — Did you know that Miss Romanoff has the world’s largest collection of vintage, The Godfather-inspired hentai?
8. Space Oddity by David Bowie — Major Tom worked for S.H.I.E.L.D.
as a custodian.
9. The Dope Show by Marilyn Manson — Phil knows exactly how Marilyn feels.
10. Material Girl by Madonna — Clint Barton buys all his arrows from Louis Vuitton. None of that Gucci nonsense.
11. Mickey by Toni Basil — little-known fact, Mickey is actually based on Dum Dum Dugan.
12. Some Weird Sin by Iggy Pop — Agent Coulson’s weirdest sin is classified, but it does involve kumquats, Tony Stark’s arc reactor, and Spider-Man’s webshooters.
13. See Emily Play by Pink Floyd — Phil misses Syd.
14. Whiskey in the Jar by Thin Lizzy — Charles Xavier once challenged Agent Coulson to a drinking competition. After five days and two Onslaugh-related battles for the existence of reality; Agent Coulson emerged victorious.
15. Can the Can by Suzi Quatro — this song makes Wolverine very defensive.
16. Rock On by David Essex — Thanks to the NSA, Phil has found the blue jean baby queen
17. Trash by The New York Dolls — What’s worse Hulk’s destructive rampages every time someone talks about how great Breaking Bad is or the fact that Bruce Banner never ever throws anything out?
18. Eclipso by The Nuclears — this is Phil’s go-to song after a breakup.
19. Tusk by Fleetwood Mac — From his time in Tahiti.
20. Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds by The Beatles — Agent Coulson denies that he ever called Pepper Potts the Yoko Ono of The Avengers.
21. Love Sick Love by The Dirty Pearls — cause it’s Rock ‘n’ Roll.
22. Police & Thieves by The Clash — Agent Coulson knows who really threw the glass at the 100 Club Punk Special.
23. Cam Ye O’er Frae France by Steeleye Span — Agent Coulson understands the lyrics.
24. Cosmic Dancer by T.Rex. You should see Phil dance the tango.
25. In Thee by Blue Oyster Cult — This way playing during his first time.
In the field.