Happy Halloween week, Walking Dead fans! I am as excited as ever to recap the latest episode! This week we learn that animal antibiotics and human antibiotics are the same thing, that everyone has a job even when they are unemployed, and –gasp! – who burned up those darn bodies! Go ahead and quietly utter the word “yes” with me. I promise you it will have a new meaning by the end of this recap.
Before I launch into the dirty details I must clear up a misconception. Turns out Sasha IS the name of a character on the show, specifically, T-dogg’s sister. So, henceforth I shall refer to T-Dogg’s sister as Sasha Fierce so that there is no confusion between her and T-Dogg’s dead girlfiend, Karen (who I previously nicknamed Sasha). Does that make sense? No? Then Google it and make a character tree because I don’t have time to hold your damn hand.
We open with little Glenn digging graves along with a few others, including his very own Maggie. They have to stay away from each other because Glenn was exposed. They share a look of longing across the field from one another. I bet he’s even happier he took a Polaroid of her last week so he can look at it when he’s hanging out in Block A because –uh oh! Glenn is sick! He’s terrified that this “glorified cold” is going to kill him.
We’re back to the scorched bodies. T-Dogg be hollerin’ and cryin’. Rick be interrogating. Daryl be just as sexy as ever. And Carol is being…oddly quiet…
Boys will be boys and eventually T-Dogg and Rick break out into a fistfight. Just like little girls feel all better with flowers, boys feel better after breaking some facial bones. Hey, guys, why don’t you bring a few walkers into the fight like the Gov. used to do. I bet you that will give you a rush.
Rick and Herschel have a scene – nothing important happened.
T-Dogg is inconsolably digging graves. Turns out Rick one-upped T-Dogg and left him with a big, fat, swollen black eye. Rick, on the other hand, hardly has a bruise on his face. Is this odd to anyone else given the fact that Rick looks like a starving alley cat and T-Dogg looks like he just ate an entire buffet, bench pressed a few hundred, and then went to bounce at a nightclub? Yeah, I thought so, too.
Has anyone else also noticed that the Fez (fence zombies) that they were fighting less than 24 hours ago are extremely quiet and well behaved? Mmm hmmmm…
Herschel and Glenn talk about the meaning of hope. Sasha Fierce interrupts with some violent hacking. Girl is a hot, optimistic mess. She must have overheard Herschel.
Sasha heads to Block A.
The council is having a meeting. Herschel is talking about antibiotics from a vet school 50 miles away. Daryl is on it. Michonne is on it. Herschel is on it. No, wait! Guess not.
Daryl quietly looks him up and down and says, “Herschel…You’re…You’re old, bro.”
Carol and Rick talk about water. They need it, but the line is full of mud.
“Let’s worry about that tomorrow,” Rick says. “I’ve got to deal with the fact that my kid is pissed about quarantine.”
Carol avoids paying respects to T-Dogg and his loss. What’s going on Carol? This is, uh, out of “character” for you…
Rick and T-Dogg kiss and make up. T-Dogg starts to cry with his one Cyclops eye. His mad that Rick was pumping water instead of sniffing out the culprit. I secretly hope that he tries to bite Rick’s ear off.
Carl and Rick are talking. Apparently these people don’t know what quarantine means because last I checked Rick and Carl shouldn’t be in the same room together. Carl, the ever pessimistic little shit, is already asking questions.
“Dad? What do I do if people start turning? I can shoot them, right?”
“If people start showing signs you tell me,” Rick says.
“Right. But I can shoot them first, ay?”
“Only if you need to,” Rick says.
“I totally need to,” Carl replies, happy as a leprechaun who has counted his pot of gold for the 100th time.
Rick nods. So much for their rehab success rate.
Daryl and Michonne are chatting by the hood of a car. He’s talking oil and she’s thinking about washing the car down with some suds like Paris Hilton did in that one burger commercial. The writers have scripted something here, something beyond friendship. Makes sense – they are both emotionally damaged due to their life circumstances. It’s cool. I’d rather see Daryl with her than anyone else. Keep on, children, keep on.
Daryl talks with T-Dogg.
“Well put a bullet into whoever did this,” he says. What’s that now Daryl? Aren’t you speaking too soon? What if you did it? You might have. I’d still love you unconditionally…
Herschel is getting sick of being quarantined just because “he’s old”. You can’t keep a good dog down, and if we’re being honest Herschel isn’t just a good dog – he’s a top dog. When he gets killed off I will stop watching the show. No I won’t, but I tell myself that because Herschel is the metaphorical Miracle on 34th Street for the prison. He’s like Santa Clause, only instead of presents he brings logic, words of wisdom, and magical plants that cure influenza.
Anyway, he goes to find those magical plants in the forest while Daryl, Michonne, the medic, and T-Dogg drive 50 miles out for animal drugs.
‘Where are you going?” a voice growls from the darkness at the end of the hallway. Herschel turns.
It’s Carl. The moment ruiner. The soul snatcher. The unstable, hormonal spaz.
Herschel explains that his life purpose is to help people – not sit in andoffice desk waiting for pet products!
“If you go beyond the fence and try to do right by mankind I’m going to tattle on you to my dad,” whines Carl, sensually rubbing the gun that is placed firmly in his belt holster.
“Fine,” Herschel says, egging on Carl’s power trip. “By the time you find him I’ll be back already.”
“Herschel!” Carl stamps his foot in adolescent frustration. “Let me come with you! Waaaaaaahhhhhhhh!!”
Herschel agrees, if only to get Carl to shut up.
Uh-oh, one of Carol’s adopted daughters is sick. She’s been sentence to Block A with all the other sickies. Bye bye, little girl.
Beth and Maggie have two exchanges. Maggie is bummed because Glenn might die. Beth is bummed because she’s stuck in a small room with a fussy baby.
“Deal with it,” Beth tells Maggie. “It’s your job.”
There is a lot of “job” talk in this episode…
Carl is supervising Herschel out in the woods while he finds elderberries. Herschel is praising Carl for stepping back from his trigger-happy ways and complimenting his maturity. He isn’t saying that because it’s true. He’s saying that because Carl’s gun is now equipped with a silencer and Herschel can’t afford to get shot in the back. Poor Herschel.
They see a couple of zombies. Carl goes to shoot the head off of one and Herschel interrupts.
“Don’t,” he says in a soothing voice, much like one would use to stop a raging alcoholic from slamming a vodka. “You don’t need to, Carl.”
Carl walks away with Herschel secretly tries to convince himself that he isn’t Shane. Yeah. Good luck with that one.
T-Dogg and Sasha Fierce talk. I don’t know what they said because I stopped listening.
T-Dogg surprises Carol, asking her to continue caring for all the sick people like the good Mama Bear she’s been. After he leaves she freaks out and starts knocking over water barrels and crying. What’s going on there, Mama Bear? Was the size of the barrel not quite right? Did someone eat your “hope” porridge? Or did you maybe murdered a couple of people in what you thought was an altruistic fashion only to find out that it didn’t do any good?
Daryl already stated there would be a bullet put in the head of the culprit, so if that culprit is you this could be a damn big problem.
Maggie, Rick, and Herschel fight. Maggie and Rick keep telling him he’s too old to do…anything, apparently. Hasn’t Herschel proved himself enough here, folks? Herschel gives one of his good speeches, but it was sort of the same as his other speeches so to recap it doesn’t make sense.
Beth opens her mouth to say more things, but I just ignore her.
Rick investigates the crime scene. He stares at a lot of things. He’s good at staring.
Carol goes out to get water by her lonesome, which she was told not to do. She almost gets eaten by zombies. Rick saves her life. Welcome back, Sheriff, you’ve been gone a long time!
The folks on the antibiotic mission are driving in a fancy car fighting over what music to listen to. They hear a voice on the radio saying things like, “Alive…”
Uh-oh! They didn’t see the giant mob of zombies inthe road in front of them – and by giant I mean the size of the city of Atlanta! Woah, nelly! They can’t drive through this bunch so instead they…get out of the car and run into the mob? What the hell kind of strategy is that?
Except T-Dogg. He sits in the car for a while, and I’m not sure why. I’m also not sure why he wasn’t torn to shreds because he was there an awful long time. But who cares.
Poof! The group makes it away from the zombies; including T-Dogg, but he maybe-sort-of-might-have-could-be bitten. I don’t know yet. I kind of hope so. No offense T-Dogg, I like you some, but if we’re playing favorites here I gotta cheer for the homies from season one, you feel me?
Herschel gives his 3rd speech of the night about hope to Glenn. We got it, Herschel. Hope is a job. Faith is a job. Everyone has a job!
Finally, it comes down to Rick and Carol. Carol is bringing in more pales of water and Rick is gently trying to broach the topic we know he wants to broach the hell out of.
“Is there anything you wouldn’t do for the group here?” Rick asks.
“No,” Carol curtly replies, and turns to walk away.
“Carol…” Rick says quietly.
Mama Bear stops and turns.
“Did you kill Karen and David?” he asks with his eyes steadily focused on the ground.
“Yes,” she replies in a tone that more closely resembles that of a woman replying to a question like, “Hey, did you used to enjoy swimming in a cool lake on a hot summer day?”
End of episode.
Next week: More people leave the prison looking for drugs, Herschel gives an hour long sermon on what it means to age gracefully, and we find out if the writers are going to try to downplay Carol’s answer into something more like “Yes, I did kill them because I welcomed them into this group and did not look after them appropriately. Therefore, I am responsible for their deaths.”