A man goes up to a woman in a bar or club and if she is not immediately attracted to him, he gets a rejection—that is unless he successfully executes a “pick up artist” type move or luckily she happens to be really nice. Meanwhile, women are lonely, wondering why they can’t find Mr. Right, and men are lonely and wondering why it is so hard to find and approach the right women. Here are the reasons why you are not meeting that special someone and what you can do about it!
1. You are looking in the wrong places. The fact is that in certain places, people tend to be more judgmental and guarded than not—like at a bar or club. People tend to either want a great exciting night with someone amazingly attractive or just a night among friends, so it is not surprising why a lot of women/men there may not be very open and receptive.
What do to: Don’t hang out in places where you will most likely encounter people who are more guarded, closed or superficial. Remember in the school days, where interacting with people was more organic, like asking for the homework assignment? So find places where people tend to be less guarded, where you can make organic conversation, and where people are friendly and open to talk!
2. You are looking for the wrong things. It may be that you keep holding off for someone who is the “whole package” or only have eyes for those you think are “so hot”, but you don’t exactly know what you want/need nor have a firm grasp of why you need/want it.
What to do: Start learning and getting a feel for true quality first. Instead of closing off if you are not immediately attracted to someone, get to appreciate his/her better qualities. He/she may be kind, loving, ambitious, creative, patient, passionate, interesting, etc. Appreciating these better qualities will help you focus less on the superficial and more on true quality.
3. You haven’t yet maximized your potential. You may think you have a lot to offer because you are successful, your friends like you, your mom loves you and everybody at work respects you, but even so, there is a lot more to catching someone’s interest. People are looking for people who look like they care about themselves, love themselves and will continue to care about and love themselves. So the details in how you carry yourself, your self-respect and confidence, your posture and your appearance all make a difference.
What to do: Maximize your potential mentally, physically and emotionally. For example, wear things that fit well, stand up straight, speak with presence, take care of your body, don’t keep putting those, who really do not deserve your special treatment, before yourself and most importantly, free yourself from negative judgments and thoughts. Make a change by doing something that makes you feel great inside and out like volunteering (www.volunteermatch.org), learning something new or gaining a deeper and rejuvenating perspective in life. When you start feeling a lot better, that is when you know it is working! Life, and even the little things, will feel much brighter and full of possibilities and great people will start gravitating into your life.
4. You are not looking. You want Mr./Mrs. Right, but you have gotten a bit negligent or lazy, stay at home most of the time and/or your social setting consists of being with your immediate and comfortable friendship bubble.
What to do: Generally, we have to get out and do something new before anything new happens. So get outside to where you can organically interact with happy, open, quality people and remember to make the most of each day!