It would be a tough task to find someone who had never dealt with cheating in a relationship. Either being the cheater or cheated on. Is it possible to gain that trust back? First, it depends on if the cheater is willing to jump through the necessary hoops to get back to “us”. Delete all social media accounts. Change your phone number. Go to couple’s counseling. Check in hourly. No more nights out on the town without your significant other. But, here lies the rub. That person has not changed. They are temporarily changing behavior to get back in. Eventually the old habits will surface. Social media has given us access to millions of people without even leaving our homes. No sooner do you post “In a relationship” the old flames suddenly hit you up wanting to check in. Facebook should do a study to see how many people have reunited with their high school flame via their site.
Men and women both cheat. The way in which they go about it is completely different. Women are far more manipulative and calculating in their actions. If they cheat-they planned to. This might be a rebound action brought on by infidelity by a partner. It is seen as a moral victory in their eyes but it is really “get back”. Call it a freebie. When you devise a plan there is less likelihood of getting caught. You unfollow them on Instagram, defriend them on Facebook, etc. If a man were to go through a woman’s phone there is not much evidence to find. Women don’t save clues. Delete texts. Delete pics. Delete call history. Wonder why there are no men’s numbers in your girl’s contact list? Call a few of the phone numbers and let your jaw drop when a very deep voice answers Amber’s phone. Only men are naive enough to put nicknames in their phones that point you to the place that he met them. Yellabone from Winston’s. He does this because he doesn’t remember their name.
Men are much more impulsive when it comes to stepping out on their lady. Much akin to a crime of passion…literally. They go out, see a hot chic and loose their mind. There is something about possibility of new cookie that takes control and he throws caution to the wind. Case in point- bachelor parties. This is not a free zone contrary to popular belief. There was a short lived reality series based on secret cameras following men on bachelor parties. None of the scenarios ended well. Not planning to cheat leaves alot of loose ends so to speak. When the questions start so do the lies that are hard to keep up with because they are concocted in the minute. Women can smell fear.
There are couples that have rebounded from one of these situations and have been stronger for it. It is quite true that you don’t realize what you have until it’s gone. Even temporarily. This is the time to examine how it came to this point. Loss of intimacy, lack of communication, or just sheer boredom are all triggers that could contribute to infidelity. When you see things hit a low point in your relationship you have to play defense. Quit wearing flannel pajamas to bed. Stop nagging. Start talking. Conversation has become a lost art in today’s society. Become the solution versus contributing to the problem.
“Men are as faithful as their options” ~ Chris Rock