Love is gentle. Love is kind. Love, real love, has likely met its key antagonist and dreads, but is always caught, rolling up its sleeves for debate. And, rest assured, in love there will be plenty of debates. Heated ones. Word around town, (a town obviously filled with gossip-mongers and physicists), is that opposites attract, and no one can attest to this knowledge more than powerful men and women. Sure, there is always going to be an exception to the rule, and you will always find that power couple that seemingly dominates everything they touch but the reality is, if they are not getting their reigns pulled once in awhile behind closed doors then they are most certainly curious about “strange.”
So often so much is expected of powerful people, and they seamlessly navigate through the posed expectations, that a lot of times the individuals holding out their empty bowls towards the powerful forget that power, also, needs to be fed. And frankly, after holding the top position for so long, they yearn for the chance to view a world that does not consist of calling shots, and consistently making power moves. The fact of the matter is no one can be “on” all of the time.
This is not to say that those in power do not love being in a position to call shots (truth is, they love it about as much as you love finally being released from an all-day church service, on football Sunday; or free and fresh Cinnabon’s) but they love even more the ability to let their guard down.
We have all heard the stories about older, longer-lasting relationships and marriages where the women would be forgivingly submissive to their men. He would rise with the sun in order to bring home the bacon, and she, of course, would cook it. He would spend his free time on the sofa, or at the local tavern getting sh*t-faced and she, of course, would be at home cleaning, or (yes, you guessed it) cooking. He’d say, “jump”; she’d say “how high,” so on, and so forth. But in reality, for those of you fortunate enough to have actually witnessed a long, loving relationship –maybe in the form of your parents, grandparents, or your great aunt and uncle- you know who really called the shots. Sure, women allowed men to wear “the pants” but they also learned the art of allowing him to think he had on “the pants.” They knew when it was necessary to ride in the backseat, as shotgun, or altogether take the steering wheel because each role could be taken without emasculating their counterpart. To be honest, achieving that level of submissiveness takes real power, along with practice and, for lack of a better resource, prayer –daily.
Oftentimes, our relationships find themselves in turmoil because it feels as if the leverage of power is not distributed equally and the real underlying questions that are eating away at each party -whether they are the one holding power or not- are, “Do you notice me?” “Do you value my strength?” “Do you honor me?” When instead they could easily be asking themselves “What more can we each contribute to what we are lacking?” “What makes us stronger together?” “What principles are most important to us?”
The very essence of the former questions display power’s vulnerability, no matter how much leverage it actually has. Still, sometimes power is so blind with itself and control that it fails to see the need it has for others, until it experiences the lesser. That type of latent selfishness can prove to be a major downfall.
Remember, power doesn’t win the war in love, it takes endurance, communication, strategy and sometimes compromise.
“Strange” – Something sexually or socially unknown to the venturing partner.
“On”- A state of being at the top of your game, no matter what your game may be. High success.