Be aware OF ALL OF THESE articles THIS is the MOST ADULT in CONTENT.
The online magazine The Good Men Project had a unique article posted the other day, which many responded positively to. http://goodmenproject.com/ethics-values/brand-men-must-be-needed-because…
It encompasses trends, myths and struggles noted in men currently which are pretty helpful for their partners to understand. Well, really pretty helpful for both to understand and maybe even the family and community.
The concept of “mancession” http://economix.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/08/10/the-mancession/?_r=0 is an economic expression that originated in the last decade, and addressed the lessening role of men in the economy, as more women were educated, less likely to rely on a man for home, food, and providing… and more women head of households, alone.
Mancession is not limited to the experience of an older adult male.
Some people naturally find their way out of this deadlock… For instance a friend’s wife died last Summer, and as he was over 70, he made a decision to almost immediately look for a new spouse. His family was up in arms, but my own family had already dealt with this years ago, and I was supportive. My friend dated a number of people, and the woman he ended up marrying was distinctive for many reasons. (He came in the office while I am writing this.) Actually one of the significant highlights for him was that the new prospective wife had desire for him, expressed that she missed him and was able to verbalize and show her multi-layer desire for him. This, he said as above was NEVER part of his experience before and developed a space between them that was pleasant, satisfying and hope filled for them both. A new multi-spectrum role as a partner. Not terribly long after he had made that revelation to me, they were working on the plan for down the aisle which was appropriate for them. They have been together about 6 months now.
Here are a few other thoughts.
1.) There is no map.
2.) “No man ever steps in the same river twice, for it’s not the same river and he’s not the same man.”, Heraclitus fragment 41, often quoted by Plato.
3.) “Couples are wholes and not wholes, what agrees disagrees, the concordant is discordant. From all things one and from one”. Heraclitus.
4.) Heraclitus was this ancient greek philosopher who basically said change is inevitable and more a fixed feature than anything, so best buddy up to change as it is the constant.
Whew! Lets make this more about the urban dictionary kinda thing from here out:
a) This opening article is so great, because it draws out a complex problem of dude evolution as of about now.
b) It identifies that admiring has a couple of direct, yet intricate features that maybe need more attention for these strains of our dudes to get to better and keep growing.
c) The value of the admiring and loving gaze towards dudes is under represented in our culture and in our relationships.
d) Defining desire of the dudes has to have… something beyond cash and goods. Defining and DEMONSTRATING maybe is the best way to put it.
Resources for more?
Burgundy was a great men’s magazine out of Atlanta that appears to have expired. (sorry) Back issues worth a look.
Outside is a magazine that often has very clever pieces about self evolution and development in a kind of Rolling Stone format.
Men’s Health gets a little wobbly, but the have some ok spots and might want to take a look.
Good Men Project has about everything in it, for all ages and both sexes.
++++++++++++ Austin’s Rick Belden has some awesome pieces about self evolution, struggles with complex issues of childhood and self or social or sexual expressions in adulthood. Rick also talks about the irreplaceable value of male on male mentorship, where suggestions for self-awareness, personal growth and personal expression and personal balance are encouraged, and as a country we fail often to provide. That adult men do not believe their younger counterparts could use them, and so they wrongly abandon each other in a ping-pong cycle that is devastating to the individual to couples to families and to the culture. Belden is a counselor and a male survivor of childhood abuses, and a survivor of adult relational abuses that he notes his part in, witting and unwitting when he writes.
Saeed Jones provides piles of information on GLBT culture and being a male in and out of relationships. Has two books and many many other writings: When Only Light is Fire and Prelude to Bruise due in 2016.
Jason Evan Mikalko has some similar offerings on his http://about.me/jaypsyd.
Craig Daliessio hits on some rememberances of childhood and community from the 1960’s,70’s ,80’s that probably could get just about any adult guy talking.
Here’s a chick article on some more intimate moments and what she admires. http://blogs.menshealth.com/single-girl-peanut-gallery/5-nonsexual-thing… that may have not a thing to do with what you BELIEVE but can you use it as a measure of what might define YOUR desire for YOUR guy, and YOUR value of YOUR love and admiration in YOUR culture with YOUR guy?
By the same token, here is a heads up dude article that invites understanding of the primitive awareness and not missing out on measuring some of the effectiveness of your presence. http://www.menshealth.com/mhlists/read_her_body_language/printer.php
Certainly this is a rudimentary view of what MIGHT happen to make everybody feel and maybe everybody feel better… All this information asks is to take into account that certain thoughts and beliefs held may not be discussed, and partners may not know they need to be discussed. Learning what beliefs are held, sometimes allows them to be revistited, healed or redefined as need be.
There are hundreds of articles on satisfactions…. and this is a mix of concepts, designed for fodder more than answers.
All preceding (5) article information relates ….