It gets harder to hide from yourself the more aware you become. Once you learn to accept what you cannot change the easier your life becomes. It’s painful to continue to push your will in areas and paths you once trod down but when the door is closed to you, realizing the difference is serenity.
Walking through the things we cannot change
It’s as hard, and takes some, a lot of practice like learning to sit with your anger. But if you accept and refrain because you know the chain of events, and the misery it sets off, that you have been through not once but hundreds of times, it becomes natural to avoid the biting dog.
Tired of the constant complaint to yourself
Nobody else has to give you a hard time. Push the “easy button.” Sometimes you have to wear the path out. But giving yourself time and space, taking three giant steps backwards and turning in a new direction and taking three deep long breadths and making a relationship with change, is to stop feeding the hungry ghosts.
Learning to take the radical acceptance road
Support and encouragement from those closest to you is a big hand up. This can be tricky, the point is not to complain, but to have confidence in your basic goodness. Make a little cake and set it down for special offering. This is your unreason, bake it with passion and warriorship. Maybe a ceremony or ritual and resolve not to do it again.
Abiding calm. Surrender is purifying. It’s accumulating merit. The energy of not accepting change can come here and partake of the cake any time it likes, and nurture your ability to know when you are wide awake and present of the moment.
Learning to appreciate the giant No
The best way to learn radical acceptance and come to enlightenment is to instead of meeting the change with resistance, lean into it. Making friends with these emotions and developing compassion for the embarrassing parts of ourselves is one aspect of the pleasure principle. Other doors will open. You are able to lay your burdens down, let go of the story line and share in that delight.
The shift can be gentle and your attention shifts the whole life situation. Even if we can only rest it one minute at a time, that little gap will grow in length each time, that spacious open quality of serenity that comes with taking your mind body and soul out of automatic pilot.