They all have the same philosophy and that is looking for the best candidate. That job candidate must have a specific degree, years of experience and the list goes on while the hunter for the next love in his or her life must make at least six figures, not fat or thin, buy expensive gifts and for my generation, want to travel.
You are either called for the interview for the position or not. In many instances, companies are calling candidates for several interviews before they can make a decision, which is good, because there are so many qualified candidates. Bad, because they are not listening to their heart, gut or developing a mindset that you would like to give someone a fair chance.
You hire an individual and give him about six months to train and develop keeping in mind that there are always more fish in the sea if it doesn’t work out. For many, this is the same approach in dating…just wait until he or she sees this defect in character. But that is ok, I have my pick of the litter and back on POF.
The mind set that there is always someone else out there needs to be put aside for just a minute. Yes, there will always be new opportunity and new people in your life which can be a positive endeavor. But as you keep throwing people out the door, not only do you develop a poor business reputation but an extremely weary emotional heart when it comes to dating and that constant movement will just add more layers of insecurity. Ultimately, your business is no longer and neither is your personal life.
In any venue, relationships take time without the nonsense that if this doesn’t work, I will find someone else. And guess what, you have just chosen that mindset anyway and it won’t work with that person in the first place. An initial lack of communication, problem or crisis that comes along, you will not spend the time to discuss and resolve because you are really focused on the next person in line. As a director, one person that had been written up for insubordination actually became one of my best employees… I gave her time.
After interviewing several couples in their golden years who had been married 40 years plus and happy, said that when they met, they had their problems but they worked them out; they knew from the start that they wanted to do this; be together. When asked why they didn’t look around, their question to me was why? That is the same philosophy they had about their employment too. One less comparison for what is more lucrative. Remember, in our fast paced-technological world that can be changed over night, all we have to do is hit a button and go fishing.
Transition from one job as well as one relationship after another can tear you down without even realizing the fallout because you begin to build a lack of faith, especially in yourself and that will get you nowhere.
Now, I am not saying that if in a relationship or at work, your self-esteem suffers, you are being abused, torn apart, surrounded by mental illness, addiction, or just been in a marriage that has worn out its welcome, been in a job for sometime with no movement and you have tried, the most important decision is too remove yourself from that negativity. Get out and move on.
And I am not saying all of this is easy but sometimes when we make a decision, we need to stick with that decision instead of taking a little break as so many do. And most of all, we need to communicate, another art that has lost its appeal.
One of best working relationships I had was talking to my boss about everything and anything…building a level of strong understanding and most of all, trust which does not happen overnight. On a personal level, one of the best compliments I ever received, was Karla, you are worth saving in my life.
So, everyone, what does that mean for you?
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