You know what blows? Hair dryers.
You know what sucks? Vacuums.
But you know what really incites cognitive dissonance like whoa? When your crush thinks you are a creep. Or a tool. When it all boils down to it, the epithet is just relative.
There are a few factors at play here affecting the state and future of your relationship with your hunk of burning infatuation; sometimes, in order to move forward, you have to take a step back, evaluate and recognize. Here are some things you may want to consider before you take another breath.
What did you do to make him/her feel this way?
There are a variety of answers to this question. Obviously.
Ironically, though, this one is actually kind of important; once again, your actions have more impact than you may realize. Chances are you’re getting worked up over something silly, like leaving her obscure facebook photo album pulled up on your screen, or chatting him up one too many times, or unintentionally saying something she disagrees with. If that’s the case, it’s fine – that’s just how people are. Hope is not lost.
If you sold his or her dog on eBay, maybe you should make amends by covering the costs and finding someone new to dote upon, and also do some light reading on going courting. But you probably didn’t do anything that bad. Did you?
So maybe you spilled your peach Snapple on his/her signed white Nickelback t-shirt. That’s okay – peach Snapple, like so many other beverages, is known for its ability to evaporate. Besides, it was just a Nickelback shirt. Wait, why are you going after someone with a signed Nickelback shirt? Is it because he/she has such low standar- oh. Well, this is awkward. (Read: come on, you’re better than that.)
Do you have a history?
Maybe it’s not just this one thing you did; if you have been consistently creepy for a long time, that may very well have something to do with the fact that things are a little rocky between you and boo bear. Man, that’s a bummer – making someone feel awkward is almost more awkward than being the recipient of the awkward, you know? Right? Maybe do that step-back thing – you would be amazed by how much a little space can pay off.
Does your lover know who you are? If not, well gosh-darn. You’re in what they call a parasocial relationship, and it’s not healthy. An introduction may be in order, first.
Is there actually any chemistry here?
This can be a hard question to answer. Especially if it’s women you’re after. Right, fellas? So many mixed signals, for Odin’s sake.
Time is a fair point of reference here. Have you been chasing for months on end to no avail? Is your crush being inconsistent all the time? (Ha! That doesn’t make sense.) If you objectively assess the situation and come to realize you’re just not getting anything back, moving on is not the end of the world (see #4). If you’re not ready to throw in the towel yet, it might be time to change your tactics (see #5).
Are there other fish in the sea?
Yes (adv.) – In answer to a question not involving a negative; standing for the affirmative sentence corresponding to the interrogative one constituting the question: = ‘It is so.’ Phr. to say yes: to assent, comply.
How willing are you to conform to his/her tastes?
Don’t make yourself sad answering this question. Just be real with yourself.
If you are extremely willing, wait. Stop. Collaborate and listen. You are a beautiful and unique individual.
And you shouldn’t have to rewrite your DNA to get the girl. If you do, then she may or may not be shallow. Also, you owe yourself more credit. Find the line between “sweet” and “whipped” and pick a side, please. Someone out there will love you for who you are – and so should you.
If you can’t be with the one you love (because he/she just won’t give you the chance), then love the one you’re with (when you’re alone with a mirror). Or something like that. Remember that? 1970. Bringing it back.