For those times in life when you find yourself thinking, “If only there was some sort of rule book for this kind of thing…” Here are 10 things every lesbian should know.
What to learn on cars, sports, and action movies
Though it might seem necessary to read up on football and car engines and Clint Eastwood movies, there really is no rule that says every lesbian should have the knowledge of a stereotypical man. You can read up on whatever you’d like. Surprise people.
People will make assumptions about you
But there’s nothing surprising about that. People will make assumptions about you before they know you’re a lesbian, and they will do the same after. How you deal with these assumptions is up to you. Some might find laughing them off is the best way to handle it, others might try to inform people of the harmful nature of assumptions. Whatever you choose to do, don’t let assumptions define you.
You don’t have to hate men
You also don’t have to hate women. And you don’t have to hate kids. Unless you want to. Who you like is up to you, but you don’t have to make that choice based on who lesbians are ‘supposed’ to like.
Always keep your nails trimmed
This is completely true. Your nails don’t have to be cut to the skin, but they should be trim. Because otherwise it’s a one-sided relationship. And that’s no fun.
If you’re planning on engaging in an activity during which you would like to be uninterrupted, be sure to make a quick pit stop at the cat bowls. Feed the cat first.
There will always be someone who
– knows better
– has great advice
– asks inappropriate questions
– wants to enter into a debate about politics
What you do from there, once again, depends on you. But there will always be someone.
Sometimes you fit into stereotypes
And sometimes you don’t. Most of the time you don’t. Sometimes there’s a femme and a butch taking a male and female role in a lesbian relationship. Sometimes femmes date other femmes and butches date other butches. Sometimes two people who consider themselves women date other people who consider themselves women.
There’s always a lesbian version
Whether it’s a book, a movie, an artist, a musician, a writer, a tv show, a comic book, a small business, or a documentary, there is either a lesbian version or someone who wants to make a lesbian version. There is an entire article on lesbian characters in comic books. This is a good thing. It can be a great feeling to have all kinds of things that reflect who you are. Sometimes it can be less of a good thing. There’s no reason why you can’t like things by or about straight people just because you’re a lesbian. Either way. There either is or will be a lesbian version. Just wait.
You can think guys are sexy
There are people who believe that sexuality is fluid. Just because you wouldn’t want to have sex or make out or date a guy doesn’t mean you can’t appreciate his good looks or charming personality. There is nothing wrong with liking men as a lesbian. Some women who dated and loved other women find themselves attracted to a man. That is not meant to give you a crisis of identity. Most people have at least some idea of where they fall on the spectrum. But whatever you do or feel, there’s always someone who feels the same way somewhere.
You’re not alone
No matter what questions you have or what crazy situations come up, you are not alone. Whether you’re explaining a lesbian relationship to your grandmother, tackling online dating, looking for some friends to hang out with, or just holding hands with someone you love, always remember you are not alone.